someone owes me an orgasm
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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