My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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