Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
