He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
