If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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