So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
