Tell her she can't have a vagina
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
