Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
