Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
