My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
