My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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