He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
