i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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