Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
