just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
