That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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