i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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