if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
