so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
