So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
