i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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