So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
