What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
