you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Bring me that man meat
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
