East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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