I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
