ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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