I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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