Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
