ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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