He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We're too hungover to prance.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
