Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
