First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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