Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
