He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
