Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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