Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
