Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
