I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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