Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
