Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
