please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
