He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
