One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
