the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
