What a fucking waste of an outfit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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