Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
