Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
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She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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