we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
