I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
