You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize