Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
