so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
