I hope mine doesn't look like that
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
