I'm gonna have a badass scar
You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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