He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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