My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
