Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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